Post by Zab Jade on Nov 9, 2018 19:10:35 GMT -8
So, I've been thinking lately about a story written by Stuffandnonsense. Read it before reading the rest of this: archiveofourown.org/works/15696444/chapters/36476970 Go! Now! Run to it! It is your tru-- Oh, wait, wrong speech. A-hem. Yes, go read it, it's an excellent story. Then, when you're done, come back and read the rest of this post.
...
So, finished reading? Good. I love the ending of this story, and it gives me thinky thoughts about Angel, Riley, and Spike and how they relate to Buffy. Both Angel and Riley make noises about accepting Buffy as both the woman (girl, really, in their minds) and the slayer. And yet, neither of them are able to handle Buffy's strength. Neither can handle being weak with her, with both of them reacting badly when they are. They treat her like she's somehow wrong to try to be there for them when they need someone to lean on. That need to be stronger than her is, I think, a weakness and means they can never be in a healthy relationship with Buffy.
Spike, though, isn't about accepting both the woman and slayer. There is no woman and slayer to him. There is only Buffy, who is woman/slayer/everything else that she is. He sees her in her entirety and accepts it, even the not-so-nice parts of her. And he's able to be weak with her. He's also able to be strong for her, which is important, but he clearly doesn't see her strength as something that makes him lesser. It's just her being her, and he appreciates that. He's strong enough to let her see him at his weakest and to appreciate it when she holds him up as well as when she allows him hold her up.
That's the heart of a good, healthy relationship, allowing your partner to see your soft underbelly and trusting them to keep it safe. There's give and take, with each partner complimenting the other.
So, does anyone else have thoughts on this, and how Angel and Riley not being able to accept Buffy as strong ultimately harmed her? While Spike gratefully accepting her help while offering his own (without making a big deal about it, because he knows it's just what you do) starts her towards healing?
...
So, finished reading? Good. I love the ending of this story, and it gives me thinky thoughts about Angel, Riley, and Spike and how they relate to Buffy. Both Angel and Riley make noises about accepting Buffy as both the woman (girl, really, in their minds) and the slayer. And yet, neither of them are able to handle Buffy's strength. Neither can handle being weak with her, with both of them reacting badly when they are. They treat her like she's somehow wrong to try to be there for them when they need someone to lean on. That need to be stronger than her is, I think, a weakness and means they can never be in a healthy relationship with Buffy.
Spike, though, isn't about accepting both the woman and slayer. There is no woman and slayer to him. There is only Buffy, who is woman/slayer/everything else that she is. He sees her in her entirety and accepts it, even the not-so-nice parts of her. And he's able to be weak with her. He's also able to be strong for her, which is important, but he clearly doesn't see her strength as something that makes him lesser. It's just her being her, and he appreciates that. He's strong enough to let her see him at his weakest and to appreciate it when she holds him up as well as when she allows him hold her up.
That's the heart of a good, healthy relationship, allowing your partner to see your soft underbelly and trusting them to keep it safe. There's give and take, with each partner complimenting the other.
So, does anyone else have thoughts on this, and how Angel and Riley not being able to accept Buffy as strong ultimately harmed her? While Spike gratefully accepting her help while offering his own (without making a big deal about it, because he knows it's just what you do) starts her towards healing?
